Wednesday, October 8, 2008

What is this thing called iPod

They shampooed the carpets, which we learned via sitting on them. Turns out if you are a hotel that works 24/7/365, you can’t do things on the day off.

Some differences between audiences, or rather, jokes by age range.
Masturbation:
Younger New Jersey=this is one of the most hilarious things said in my life
Older Leaf Peepers=I’ve never been more bored.

The line “stop, you’re going to pull something” whilst someone is exerting oneself:
Younger New Jersey=I’ve never been more bored.
Older Leaf Peepers=hahahaha, seriously he is really risking pulling something, do you see how he is bent over? I relate to back pain.

If you ask an assembled group of cruisers this question:
“He’s going to reveal a secret, what it that secret?”
They will say: “HE’S SECRETLY A WOMAN!”
If you say: “He’s going to reveal a secret, like ‘he’s secretly a woman,’ what is that secret?”
They will say: “HE’S GAY!”
They also enjoy: “HE’S A TRANSVESTITE!”
This means two of our actors have been secretly gay and secretly men/women millions of times. Our economic crisis gives us perspective on how annoying this actually is.

If you put a finger on the pulse of our audiences during our shows, the pulse would probably say “I find you boring” or “I am wildly transfixed, which I shall indicate via my silence.” I do not know if oldies relate well to people being socially awkward—maybe they are too old to care or realize worrying is a trivial way to spend your life or maybe regret how alienating their two lazy eyes have been through the course of their lives and don’t think it’s hilarious (this is a line form our song). Maybe our hilarious jokes are making them think.

There are various classes for the passengers, and I heard one today in the announcements which made me laugh out loud. It is the NCL “U” Technology class, in the Clipper Conference Room, Deck 8, Fwd at 2:30 p.m. entitled, and I am copying the punctuation: “What is this thing called iPod.” Yesterday’s class, in the Clipper Conference Room, Deck 8, Fwd at 4:45 p.m. was called “Why should I buy a Computer?” I like the idea that crotchety old people are yelling these questions and then had them answered very fully, because tomorrow’s seminar, at 9:30 a.m. in the Stardust Theater, Decks 7 & 8, Aft, is “Expand your horizons with your Computer.”

No comments: