Indian Night

Last night, one of the YCs said “how am I ever going to describe this to anyone at home?” This is because it was Indian night.

For no reason and out of the blue, the dance floor and crew bar periodically transforms to an all Indian party. Specifically, all Indian males. I think it is when there is an Indian DJ maybe? At any rate, there are songs that play and all sound the exact same to me, but some of them the guys love, some of them the guys hate. If you are an Indian guy standing around watching the craziness happen on the dance floor, your friend will probably grab you and hurl you into the center of the dudes who are losing their minds dancing and singing along, many of them in uniforms, one of them probably around 6’2” and balding wearing blue coveralls, jumping around and screaming, so out of control with joy that he rubbed his crack on a castmate’s hand that was casually hanging off the table where we were sitting. It is like a Bollywood mosh pit where people can’t stop smiling and there are no women. Sometimes a lady will make her way in the fray for jumping and feet pointing, but it only lasts long enough for us to say “hey there’s a girl” and then you look back the next second and she’s gone and two guys are squatting on the floor together bouncing around. Everyone who is not an Indian male just stands around and shrugs and says “this is crazy” and watches and the guys having the party who all, to put it technically, could not give two shits.

The dance floor is so small you can play one-on-one ping pong comfortably, that’s about it. If you are like over 6’ tall, you can touch the ceiling without jumping.

At the end of the night, security turned the lights on in the crew bar and we got ready to leave. The Indian guys were not ready for curfew, so they started singing a new song in maybe…Urdu? Then in English, the ringleader said “GOODBYE VINJAY AND HAVE FUN ON YOUR VACATION!” and they all seriously and without irony or prompting said “hip hip” “HORRAY!” and “hip hip!” “HORRAY!” and “hip hip” “HORRAY!”

I also talked to a Gurka, which is what the security guards all are. I asked him to have a fight or an exhibition we would watch. This was a great question that I had to repeat like 5 times with different words in different places. I finally got out of him that he will only do his secret martial arts moves in a life threatening situation.