A Visit to Cabo

CABO

We went to cabo, where 3 other cruise ships were in port, which felt like everyone with sellable merchandise was running in circles with their hair on fire. We met 100000000000 mexicans in this way: "whistle lady? Whistle whistle whistle?" also "plate? plate plate plate plate?" also "necklace? Necklace necklace necklace necklace necklace necklace necklace necklace necklace " Then, for the more subtle approach, serious faced men would come up holding 4 different bracelets or necklaces and just put them in your face. Or another guy varied it—he’d come up behind you at lunch in your café, and do a surprise ambush with 15 SILVERNECKLACES ON ONE SIDE!!! and then 1 SILVER NECKLACE ON THE OTHER!!! of: your head. If someone has a mental breakdown and goes “I DO NOT WANT A NECKLACE” and howls for like 1 hour solid, I will not blame them.

My favorite souvenir shirt thus far: I'M SHY but I have a big dick (Puerto Vuellarta) Hilarious. I did not got to the RESORT (tm) in Cabo today, for an identical 4th day. This is prosperous to my mental health and my desire not to eat the same $9 fish fingers. Instead I saw all the yachts in Cabo which provided a diversion, then I said “hey, let’s go into the Rolex store!” for some change of scenery. We did. No one has ever spoken to me in Spanish ever ever because I am an extremely white person and my sunscreens are SPF 70 (face) and SPF 50 (person, via aerosol). My eyebrows are so light it looks like they disappear. A very Mexican stranger bumped into me in Puerto Vallarta and said “excuse me.” The woman behind the counter said “hola, que tal?!” which was creepy and then the armed guards—armed to the point of army fatigues, an AK-47 and bullet proof vest—didn’t make eye contact while the woman pretended she thought we were Mexican and could afford a diamond with 100 facets instead of the crap 46-56 and actually told us about a $65,000 necklace. So we got “necklace?” again but the incredibly high rent version.

There are millions of whales around Cabo, which is still weird. I never realized that beached whales can still breathe, they are crushed by their own body weight or because their skin dries out. Also, I do not understand how they can have the whole ocean as a home, even though they have to leave certain parts of it. I don't understand how they can migrate so much and have no little den anywhere. I know that is insane, but I am being honest.