The Other Shows

It is very difficult to understand that we actually live here. I have realized it fully by protesting the musical theatre shows that we see out of support three times a week. The only problem is that these are the exact same shows with only minute changes. These dancers are called the Jars. They are going to be our deepest friends apparently. Two of them are French so we are going to have a French table where we speak French. Or they speak French and we struggle and accidentally swear. This is what happens when you were fluent in French 10 years ago, and you are saying 10 because 12 seems too overwhelming, even though it is the truth, and by “you” I mean “me.”

During one Jar show, there is a dramatic point where the lead singer jumps of stage (very impressive jump) and runs up the aisle, across the audience, and down the other aisle and then hops back up on stage. The theater seats like 1,900 or something insane. He gets the audience rallied and makes them sing “we will rock you” along with the other young hotties on stage. He has a wireless mike on his face. There is a lot of “c’mon y’all! Sing it with me!” He is followed by a spotlight and he wears sequins. This all combined with disaster when he said “c’mon y’all! sing it with me!!” and stopped in front of a very obese gray haired gentleman with a large beard that flowed down onto his chest. Said gentlemen was just startled and looked down and back and forth really quickly and didn’t do anything, which we all saw because he was in a spotlight.

Also, during cruise ship shows, people freely come in and leave, even if it is the front row, where we also saw a guy texting and using his phone to read the program—this was during a show where someone heartfelt-edly sings “Memory” from yes, obviously, Cats. This is also during our shows, it is fine, that’s how it is, that’s the deal. This also happens when we, say, are teaching a seminar that is apparently boring or maybe not loud enough (ZING! ELDERLY! ZING!) When said Jar was doing his run up the aisle, across the audience, down the aisle, an Asian family came in to take a seat during that song, so a 6 year-old girl found herself in the spotlight, totally in the way of the singer trying to haul ass to get back on stage to keep singing We Will Rock You. She got tangled up in his legs staring back at her mom for like 3 stair-steps, while this terrifying dynamo is going "HAHAHA C'MON Y'ALL!! HAHAHA!"

It is also very difficult to remember that you are not 75 or older and usually keep your mouth in the open position. It is very difficult. Sometimes you have to hide in your room and read books to attempt to remember this. Books about people who are YOUNG! and have no problems. I saw a young guy on the boat and openly gawked and all he was was 30-ish and not obese or walking like he only had joints in his waist and knees. Insane.