The Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan

The Barenaked Ladies are here. This week is a charter cruise. It’s called Ships N’ Dips and features Canadian bands from all over and is run by BNL. That’s what you say. “BNL.” Which is also the bad corporation from Wall-E, which I know because they play it on the cruise movie channel every day.

 

This morning, at 10 a.m., they had the Barenaked Photo. Everyone gets on the pool deck and drops trou at the very same time. The average age here is around 40 and there seems to be a large lesbian contingent. There was a bouncer at the entrance to the pool deck saying “you in the photo?” to people coming in wearing bathrobes or towels or whatever. Then the bouncer would say “you’ll sign the waver at the end, it’s on the other end of the pool.” One guy, not in a bathrobe or towel, said sadly “I didn’t sign up” and walked away. Since people are 40 and have sense now, people got up in time to get breakfast first and then go to the photo. Since people are 40, some of them are very large, and a few gentlemen had a hard time keeping their bathrobe shut. Two generously apportioned guys came into the buffet and held their robes shut dantily, just pinching the side.

 

After the photo, they all came out, vaguely proud of themselves.

 

Today’s quote: a large woman who is probably a grandma brought to watch the kids: “We can’t sit this far away from the buffet! This is forever!” Forever=50 yards. So. Good to know.

 

NOW: also here is Sarah McLaughlin. She is playing 3 concerts because she said “I want to take my family on vacation” and someone heard that at a party and there you go. This is how it all works.

 

My roommate and I are ushering her concert. For those of you who are of a certain age and are female, you realize this means “I am probably going to cry in public” because Sarah McLaughlin was with you when you were a cripplingly dramatic spaz and told you “there are lots of cripplingly dramatic spazzes, it’s all right.” Although back then you probably thought she was saying “you’re normal and perfect and everything you do makes sense.” PHILOSOPHY!

 

There are all sorts of Green/begreen/environmental groups on the cruise. After a year of cruising, this is making my brain short circuit. After a year of following rules, hearing a comedian say “aren’t these blinds shitty?” about the shitty blinds in the main lounge, makes me want to say “YOU CAN’T SAY THAT YOU’RE GOING TO GET FIRED!!!!”