Showgirls and treadmills

A couple didn’t want to go on a boring shore excursion with a bunch of people, so they tracked down someone from our cast and said “where is fun to visit.” So, off they went to the Boatyard in Barbados. The Boatyard is a Spring Break type place that is very friendly to crew and especially friendly to girls who want to stand on the bar in their bikini. This couple is great apparently and here is their short love story:

Once upon a time, a children’s illustrator went on vacation in Key West. He met a girl down there and they had a delightful vacation for 2 days, randomly hooking up. Then he came to visit her in Pennsylvania or somewhere and she thought “uh, is this guy a psycho?” Then they had fun and they are married and she’s 6 months pregnant. You knever knowwww.

VISUAL PRESENT!
OR: Another time I wish I had a secret spy camera in my hair!

Picture a 5’ olive skinned happily rounded woman, with dyed blond-ish hair and a lot of roots. Imagine her about 55-ish, with a gold link bracelet, nice tan leather flip flops. Imagine her in a nice polka dot mini-dress and big sunglasses that say either “I’m Russian” or “I’m Italian.” Now put her on the treadmill, running, for exactly 27 minutes and 33 seconds, always holding on to the bars of the treadmill and at the end, holding on to the console. The whole time in flip flops. This is what I saw at the gym.

WEIRD!:
We have two people who worked at the Jubilee show in Las Vegas. Wherever this is. They were showgirls. They are going to teach us the showgirl walk, which was passed down from 4 people, none of which meant anything to me, except the one person named “Fluff,” which made me laugh and say “who’s named FLUFF??” This is apparently very serious and NOT funny. I think one’s name is Ruby. Fascinating. When you do this walk without a showgirl costume on, and just in the middle of a bar, you look very, very crazy, like you have trick hips. If you try to imitate this walk, you look like a windup robot spaz crone. Hence: we shall have lessons.