Hobbies and Teens

Upon leaving the 24-hour restaurant, we passed a table of 4 teenagers. One kid looked like a terrified drawing of a teenager, blond, shaved hair and worried eyebrows and a button down black clubbing shirt that was kinda too big for him. He had his hands folded and was leaning into the table. The kid across from him leaned back in his chair—ratty t-shirt and long curly hair—giving a speech like he ran the universe. His speech was this:

Really blasé: “Okay, so you’re what? 13 and a half? Yeah. Okay, so one year for you is like…that’s like a long time. I mean that’s like a third of your life. Or wait—like 6.5% or—well, it is a really long time. Now see, me,” incredibly pompous “I’m 15. So one year for me is like…one fifteenth. So it’s like, less.”

 

I have discovered that many southerners from some kind of a specific region say “[sentence subject] was just sittin’ there sayin’” As in “I walk into the elevator and this New Yorker’s just sittin’ there sayin’ ‘where you goin’?’ and I’m sittin’ there sayin’ ‘why’re you askin’ me?’” Which is delightful to think of people walking somewhere to sit and ask a question. We have a Texan from Corpus Christie that says it.

Last night, we had a crew party. This means the ship can get rid of its beer that is almost expired and people walk around going “I think this Red Stripe is expired.” It also means everyone that we know (the entertainers) gets hammered (typical). The crew party featured the dancers and singers doing what they consider fun and a hobby. My current hobby is a diorama kit purchased from Michael’s for $16. I am making a miniature field. I just put in the road and some ground cover. I am excited to put things in this field for jokes. Haha, what would it be like with a Rubic’s cube that I am excited to learn the tricks about from YouTube. People are different!

The dancers and singers, for fun, say…have a party with a theme that will support them choreographing, rehearsing and singing the “Cell Block [something]” from Chicago. This entails wearing underwear and standing up and throwing your leg behind your head and basically doing sex moves while the male crew spazzes out and films it. Our castmate said “if there was ever a good time to know Tagalog, it was in the bathroom after the show” because everyone was losing their mind. Also, these people are professional singers and dancers, so it was terrific.

If you are a gymnast, and you have freetime, you do things like this:

Another odd story: apparently people very frequently ask the crew if they go home at night. As in…back to the Philippines or Canada or Indonesia. For a while, there was a standard answer: “Yes, a helicopter comes to get us at night and then brings us all back in the morning.” And usually there is “hahaha” and it’s over because that is clearly a crazy lie. The crew is now forbidden to use this comeback. This is because a passenger wrote a comment card and said “I loved the cruise, except the helicopter kept waking us up in the mornings.” Delight!

Random fact I learned:

When you have been on a submarine, you are not allowed to drive a car for 2 weeks, because your depth perception is such a mess. ON A SUBMARINE. IN A TUBE WITH PEOPLE. I cannot imagine this. 

Oh...did you say you wanted more Diorama? By the Porthole? Okay.