GI stories

We are getting closer and closer to the holidays. Today we are in St. Lucia.

Random hilarious things:
Our magician, who is a delightful French Canadian, said with complete, earnest honesty: “I love pad thai.”

There is a standup on another ship that always eats 5 almonds a day, and gets things in his brain, like “I’m going to do more pushups than anyone has ever done” or tells people that he can throw a football 300 yards. This man is in his 40s.

We have GI on our ship, which means we have to sanitize constantly and other people have to serve us at the buffet. The cleaning people and crew are having their lives ruined. The interesting thing about GI is that it sneaks up on you. You go from not having it, to having it 100% over the course of about a second. This means, things happen, like a passenger was at reception, explaining “my tour came late, we are really unhappy about this because we paid a very--!!!!!” and his eyes went wide because the guy, to be poetic: suddenly shat his pants.

There is a ballroom couple in every showroom show. They are a male and female pair. Frequently, the male lifts the female and she does dramatic things with her arms and smiles. Apparently, he lifted her so he was holding her thighs around the level of his shoulder, and the end of the move is that she would slide down the front of him and then they would proceed into the tango, or whatever. Something dramatic happened in her intestines, which also went all down the front of him. The only saving grace is that when GI hits, apparently, it is clear.

LESS INTERESTING:
I now have a roommate again. This means another adult sleeps 6 feet from me in a metal room that conducts sound. We will shortly know more about each other than either of us ever wanted to know. Like: some people like to floss in bed. I am not used to it yet, so every time she moves, I wake up.