Rizzo Kids Workshop

We watched the Sopranos, in an effort to understand the passengers haha jokejoke. Well, episode one of the Sopranos, Tony Soprano tries to send his old friend Artie on a Cruise. On a, specifically, “Norwegian Steamship” to the “Carribbean.” Just saying. We sail with the Sopranos.

Today was another kids workshop, this time at 11 a.m., which is painfully early for actors who stay up until 3 a.m. usually, or 6 a.m. as was the case with my cohort. Today’s workshop featured a Hells Kitchen gang from the 20’s. A spazzy skinny kid that could have been selling newspapers and saying “neyeaaaaaaah” and called Rizzo, who in 2008 goes by Tyler, but still has all the veins in his neck stand out. Also a spazzy blonde who talked happily about fictionally getting arrested. Also a big kid Robert and his friend Matthew. Hilariously, yesterday Matthew played Nintento Wii Baseball and farted at the exact moment he swung the bat. In case we were to forget this story, it was brought up again. They enjoy the use of the phrase “24/7.” Additionally, one individual actually farted live while we were trying to force them to walk around like it is a windy day. We pretended like it was not a big deal while simultaneously wanting to barf. Perhaps this was the lie that started the war. Because it was war. We said “no fighting” and they promptly fell all over one another. We also had another kid who was too silent and refused to do anything or talk, so when he finally tentatively did, the Joker Mob said “he speaks!” and overreacted, which we had to say was not funny which was also a lie. Also my cohort explained clearly why it is rude to talk when someone else is talking, via “how would you feel if you were up here trying to talk and someone starts making some noise over on the side. It would be annoying, right?” and one of them, with a blond crewcut and a big necklace said under his breath “it would be pretty funny.” I had them do an exercise which kids usually love because you jump around a lot. I said “everybody face me” and the ringleader stood in front of me and faced the back/all of the other students. When I was their age and a girlscout, apparently my camp counselors called my parents about my overuse of the Eye Roll. Well karma, you’ll be happy to know the ringleader used the eye roll on me. Insofar as the entire class refused to go from 10 (arms to the ceiling) to 1 (down on the ground). Insofar as the ringleader just watched me jump around and didn’t participate, which spread very quickly so a room full of 10 year olds thought it was boring to move around (eyeroll).

The Joker Mob made it through our Dr. Know It All, which for you normal people is when you stand in a line with other people and make a sentence one word, one person at a time. The mob yapped constantly, with helpful suggestions like “why did you say that” or “you shoulda said” or “no!” or used, for his one word, “and then he farted 24/7—oops—AAAAND.” The audience asks questions of Dr. Know it All were all on this theme: “How do you go to the bathroom” (3 times), “How do you blow your nose” (3 times). They also asked Dr. Know it All if he had any new inventions (4 times), to which Dr. Know it All replied that yes, he did, and that they were all versions of a toilet and flushed. One very smart and polite latino kid with a hearing aid inquired “Are you a nutritionist?” which I enjoyed. No one wanted to hold the silent kid’s arm and the silent kid refused to say words, which made everyone unhappy. The two joker ringleaders were kicked out of the workshop after refusing to stop talking ever ever ever. When we left, one of them apologized for interrupting.

None of those kids had any idea that we were improv people, which is unfortunate because usually if they see you on stage, they are at least a little bit scared and will OBEY. We said “do you have any questions for us? Or about Second City?” and they said, sneerily “yeah, what’s second city?!!” One kid (the polite nutritionist one) wanted clarification about our shows that we have done on the ship and said “oh yes, the Stardust. I have seen a few shows which I’ve enjoyed, but no, sorry, I have not seen yours.”

Please raise teacher’s salaries.