English Girl's Sports

If you want to upset the balance of English people’s relationship to one another, get one to say he likes baseball. An English dancer bought a Red Sox hat in Boston. I told him he will instantly make insane fan friends in many places and he said “yes, Yankees people, right?” which made me laugh. I tried to explain the Red Sox and the fanatics and how there was a “be careful making any big life changing plans” announcement to people after they won the World Series. He said he would like to see a baseball game sometimes in port and then had shifty eyes and said “he’s going to get mad.” “He” was the safety officer, who is bald and probably in his forties, who looked at the dancer with laser eyes and said “what?!” The dancer said “I like baseball.” The safety officer turned on me and said with his laser anger “we have baseball in England. It’s called rounders and it’s played by GIRLS.” Basketball is “net ball and it’s played by GIRLS.” He said “we have American football and it’s called [I can’t remember] and it’s played by GIRLS.” I said “we have soccer” and he got very disgusted with me until I said “football.” He also got very excited by the idea that we can never have an independence day celebration for the English people on board because they’ve never been dependent. We said maybe they can celebrate all of the kingdoms they lost, but he didn’t seem to hear that.

He got mad about the World Series in baseball and said it is only called the World Series because the first game was sponsored by a paper called “The World” (which is a fact he clearly loves). I pointed out that the world series of cricket is also silly because the whole world does not participate. He basically said “yes it does” and gave me a list of countries (even though He told me that cricket is a much better game, although it can last five days and sometimes scores are around 600 to 600—“not points, RUNS. 600 RUNS.” I said that’s annoying that you have a game where the score can be 0-1 and another game where it is 600-580. The two English people pretended to use a cricket bat and to pitch.