Here I Go, Again

I am back on board a new ship. This is the Jewel, and it is crazy. It is new! It is well decorated! Things are understated! Things are snazzy! And oh Lord, oh happy day, oh all is changed and we are born anew:

I have a porthole.

I HAVE A PORTHOLE! THE PORTHOLE! THERE IS A PORTHOLE AND HOPE SURVIVES AND LOVE IS REAL!

We are in officer cabins. We have two officer cabins and two passenger cabins (PAX!). Obviously, the people who designed the crew cabins knew the experience of life as a crew member, which is totally different from a passenger. Mainly:

SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE! DELICIOUS SILENCE! O LORD SILENCE!!!

My PORTHOLE means I am awoken by SUNSHINE and you can hear the waves gently hit the boat and see a reflection of light dancing on your ceiling. But muted, calm, SILENT. I know I would go crazy if I were not allowed to leave this room. I know this with my brain. I do not know this with my SOUUUUL.

Pax hallways stretch the length of the ship and go in a ring. Every third on each side is manned by two room stewards that work constantly in the morning and at night. They each have a room cleaning cart. This is perfect for the vacationing people because it is a complaining-ice-breaker that might end up in a “hahaha, let’s get drinks.” For people who work and live here, it results in “this is where I will die. Here. I will die here. Everything is pointless.” Which is a lie. Does this happen in crew hallways? Where my hallway is a self contained “corridor” of about 9 rooms off of a big hallway? In a crew area? Where everyone is working and running around? NOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

This ship is radically different than the other ships because it is gorgeous. It was built in 2005. It is gorgeous. The cheese element is still there (“amazing” was used at least 40 times in the opening show, “ladies and gentlemen” probably 30) but everything is new and well designed and clean and in 2005 Starbucks-ie style, so it feels gorgeous and like they know exactly what I want to see, which maybe means it is trendy.

In an interesting note, there was apparently a terrorist attack at sea somewhere hahaha. So now we have a bunch of signs in the crew areas with a number to call if we see any terrorist activity hahaha. So hopefully that will never ever ever be useful.