Today was the last day in Zihjuatenejo. As soon as we got off of the tender boat, an official looking gentleman asked us if we were interested in going to Los Gatos beach. We, in fact, were, so I inquired as to the price. He was cagey and said $10 round trip each, and since there were 2 of us, $20. He got us immediately after we entered non-cruise ship territory. I said “meh,” he impressed upon us the location of his boat and the round-tripness of his boat. We said we’d shop around, even though he said it was such a good price, etc. We then walked about ½ a block and talked to some taxi drivers, which we found somehow, probably when they said “TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI.” They pointed us to the only way to get to Playa Los Gatos, which is a publicly run service which costs $3.50…round trip. So. There were guys to help us on and off of these small boats, who said “mi prominas!” and also “tips ladies!” I am hardened.
I also got in a cab 4 times in Acapulco and had the fun game of “no cambio!” lie acting twice. I said “ocho, it was ocho” after giving A GENTLEMAN NAMED HOGAR who discussed Madonna with me and other things that I may or may not gusta and informed me that my espagnol was actually muy picanyo and not just poco or even picanyo. I told him he had a slurry Acapulco accent and was probably swearing at me and shouldn’t pander to me with 1980’s Madonna (no I didn’t because I don’t have the spanish). After agreeing to an $8 cab that should be $6, after starting with $15 (very bold), the guy who farms out whities to cabbies said “$10 with tip!” I said “no, OCHO.” Then we go to the destination and he said “no cambio” which was an acting performance and I said “I agreed to ocho” and he said, in English “but my tip” and then started saying “mi propina.” The other guy with the “no cambio” game said “oh no, no cambio” very gravely as though he didn’t work in a cash only business where people give him amounts of change and gave me a 10 peso coin and shrugged so he still got his PROPINA, even though he took the extra extra long way, which is another statement I cannot express in spanish. Also, I could fight these people, but they are driving cars and there is heavy mafia and apparently the risk of kidnapping in Acapulco is not, how you say, small. Meaning, it’s large. Meaning I don’t want to die.
Passenger Bits!
While in that water taxi coming back from Playa Los Gatos, (which was okay because we only met 2 vendors (necklaces, of course and…of course: peanuts), and weird because we witnessed a very nice dog with hangie nipples get assaulted in the water by 3 other gentlemen dogs right in front of 2 well padded whities on vacation) we spent quite some time not moving in said water taxi. Meaning we got in the boat with a lot of fanfare and then idled there for like 15 minutes. There was a big boat backup and 6 identical boats parallel to each other and banging into each other. I should note, the gentleman running the on-off ramp at the Playa was…the same gentleman who suggested we take our $3.50 ride for $10 (exact same ride). 3 other people were there from the ship, one was a woman in full makeup and her husband and son. They had huge hockey sized suitcases, which made no sense because they were from the cruise ship, so they had our same 7-1:30 window. She was getting very furious for many reasons, all based on waiting. So she tried to convince our pilot gentleman to pick it up with a few “I’m going to be sick!”s and “I can’t do this!”es and “Amigo!” and pointing at her watch, which was a Mickey Mouse watch. She proceeded to get madder and said to her husband: “this is cutting into my shopping time!” and it was a little hard to take her seriously because she was wearing those earrings that are three layered and hung on a hoop. I just looked at my camera for verification that it was a cat, and found out that it is Lelu from Lelu and Stitch. One layer is the head, one is the body, one is the feet. She then had some Mexican girls take a picture of her and her family, out of the blue and after about 10 minutes of silence. It took 3 tries to get it right “you need my husband—him—you need 3 people! Tres!” but the girl across from her was sitting too close so they had to pass the camera down the line. O persons.
Also, we would have a lot of guys from restaurants run up to us and suggest getting food, one of whom advertised “good food! clean bathrooms!” which made me miss America and the way people pretend no one uses the bathroom in advertising for lunch. It happened so much that when the last guy came up to us, castmate Mark asked him if he wanted to get a good meal and what did he want, what could he get him. This confused that gentleman greatly.
My dad explained Mexico nonsense with “people are cheaper” which applies in many places, including things that raise and lower in a parking lot. Whatever that bar is called. In USA, we have laser eyes and machines and maybe a person who presses a button. In Mexico, there is the bar across the road and on the other side, there is a large heavy box with a handle on it with a man in a uniform who presses his whole body weight on said box to raise the bar into the air.
Showing posts with label taxi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label taxi. Show all posts
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
MEHXICO!
Mexico!
Mexico in a sentence: “Meh! Close enough!”
Evidence based on large, public business signs:
Mexican English: Masage (massage)
Mexican English: Desings (designs)
Mexican English: Strep Club (strip club—and this one is in neon)
Logic behind it: “meh, just get all the letters in there. If you have some repeat letters, well, don’t put in any repeat letters, that’s crazy.”
I have learned about the definitive aspect of Mexican tourist culture. It is: The Taxi. The Art of the Taxi. Taxart.
Also, it is very effective to manipulate an American, specifically a Midwestern raised American by having an emotional reaction, specifically, a negative public emotional reaction. Example: I find earrings that are silver hoops. Frequently in Mexico, you don’t know if you’re getting silver or silver-plated nickel. I know how cheap silver-plate is based on the fact that I helped buy forks for restaurants that are exactly that. And they cost nothing. Now, with a straight face, the shop owner told me that those earrings, which were also unidentical and kinda bent, like someone sat on one briefly but then said “it’s fine” and put it back, the owner got a serious face and said the price was 350 pesos, or $35. I could get these in LA for like $12, probably tops. Maybe $10 for 3. Of course, to tell me the price in dollars, the owner did fancy things on his calculator, even though the exchange rate is pretty much 10:1. He said, “special price for you, $30.” I said “no way, that is too high” and they got insulted and said “WHAT! But it real silver!” I don’t know what’s in the Art of the Deal, but it is very effective to say “I don’t care, that price is too high.” They said “what would you pay, name your price” so I said “$10.” This caused a lot of “NOOO!” and “Don’t be a cheap-o!” and “This real silver!!!” and “if you want nice things you have to spend money!” And the getting over of the manager and a new calculator machine and a lot of sighing. Then they said “okay, $25.” No.
They are not interested in personal space or a quiet way of thinking over a purchase. One guy put a salsa dish in Heather’s hand (who is my friend who is visiting haaay), knocked on it, said “knock on it! You can put salsa in it!” and led her into his kiosk so all of a sudden we lost her. If you enter a shop, you will have a tiny Mexican friend 1 foot or less away from you suggesting things for your home, or tshirt, or for salsa. Also, they will insist these items are very original and take a lot of work, even though you may have seen one before, hundreds of times on beaches and everywhere all over Mexico. They do not mind if you just say “NO,” make no eye contact, or are even ruder and say nothing and pretend they are not there. We are all from the Midwest, usually make eye contact and say “no gracias.” They do not care about this.
Other operative words in a market: “Just for fun!” “Check it out!” “Almost free!”
AND NOW: TAXIS.
When you leave the ship, this is what happens: “TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI.” “YOU WANNA TAXI” or “WHERE YOU WANT TO GO” or also the time honored joke, “YOU WANNA GO TO MIAMI” which I don’t totally get but is apparently hilarious. Now. To take a tour around the city, you can get with a tour group and do it that way. This will be very Americanized and much more expensive. However, the Americanized portion is that you hear the price beforehand and there is air conditioning, and multiple tour guides who wear matching shirts, and you will wear a sticker indicating you are part of a tour, etc. etc. etc. Then there is the Mexican option. Or you can go freelance and just take a taxi somewhere. In Mexico, the taxi driver also becomes your tour guide. We know this now because 3 of us met a gentleman named Martin. This was after I decided we could tour around Acapulco for $20 round trip. Just a quick tour up to a giant cross and a peace garden with some giant hand sculpture that two people from Philadelphia told me about in a cab. Go up, la la la, come back, la la la. 1 hour. Okay. The first person I asked about this (i.e. “TAXI TAXI TAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “sure, I’d like to go to that chapel for $20.” “YOU INSULT ME!”) didn’t work. The second one entered a bargaining war a little bit and walked with us for a while but was gravely insulted by my offer. He said $60 because “3 people! Air conditioning!” The farther you got from the ship, the more loose cannonish the cabbie strata became, like a gobstopper or layers in a septic tank. So we got a $25 deal to go to the chapel, “no problem.” At first we were going to have lunch and go afterwards. Martin informed us that we had to go right away because the chapel closed at 4 p.m. and we could have lunch afterwards in the square. The little part he left out was that the chapel actually opened at 4 p.m. and that this was a fact that he knew. So he took us on a ride and somehow we ended up eating lunch at Senor Frog’s, even though he said “La Vista is better” not like a minute earlier. He also had some brochures in his car for a silver store as well as a restaurant. At Senor Frogs, he clearly got some kind of a kick back, considering he had been there before and hung out with his buddies outside and the prices were American-equivalent. Beer in Mexico is $1, margueritas, $3. In Senor Frog’s, marguerites are $7.
The old adage “they see a cruise ship and triple their prices” is true. This flies in the face of whitie/gringo guilt and a desire to help the local economy sans ending your personal economy. Guilt is an effective marketing tool as evidenced by human history and Martin’s story of his three boys who want to be a doctor, a lawyer and an architect, and yes the universities are free in Mexico, but the good ones are private and that’s where he wants to send them, and p.s. it is hard to be a cabbie, all of which came up right around the time we were going to pay. He recommended a $40/plate restaurant earlier which made all 3 of us go “TOO MUCH!” which should have indicated our budgets. O Martin! He also told us in depth about how corrupt Mexico is and how the Mafia is everywhere and the presidents are always in bed with the Mafia.
When Martin let us out of the cab, he counted the money we gave him in front of the cab ($30, $25 plus a $5 tip) with a little flair and drama. He said “oooooh, I don’t think this is good for me” and then said a good way for us to make it up to him was $10. This is another bargaining technique. Get a person in the door for the price they want, then nickel+dime/tell a dramatic story and use their personalities against them. Also I have no idea if that was fair or not. However, if you become a hard cold bitch and say “no, we’re not doing that and you knew when we got in the cab when that place opens” they will say “okay” and shake your hand and let you go. It would be less of a deal if he didn’t say “oh I take people here every day.” Heather created a very good relationship with him and chatted while I farted around. Heather was obviously, very ready to pay him the extra money, i.e., it was hanging out of her pocket. She was crushed!
Interesting Mexico fact:
All roads lead to Mexico City. So if you want to get to a city in the middle of Mexico from another city in the middle of Mexico, you have to go to Mexico City first. This makes getting around completely insane. It also means that if you have say…a farm that grows drugs and you are in the middle of Mexico, you are pretty much out of the way. Basically, it’s a great place to be in the mafia. Also, cabbies won’t tell on you because you can just kill them or something horrible! This did make us slightly nervous about what happened with Martin vis a vis will he have us hunted down and killed next week.
Random note:
The ship moves a lot so the hangers in your closet knock against the sides. This is what causes us all to randomly answer our door at all hours and to slowly think someone is always messing with you. Heather, too, randomly answered the door.
Mexico in a sentence: “Meh! Close enough!”
Evidence based on large, public business signs:
Mexican English: Masage (massage)
Mexican English: Desings (designs)
Mexican English: Strep Club (strip club—and this one is in neon)
Logic behind it: “meh, just get all the letters in there. If you have some repeat letters, well, don’t put in any repeat letters, that’s crazy.”
I have learned about the definitive aspect of Mexican tourist culture. It is: The Taxi. The Art of the Taxi. Taxart.
Also, it is very effective to manipulate an American, specifically a Midwestern raised American by having an emotional reaction, specifically, a negative public emotional reaction. Example: I find earrings that are silver hoops. Frequently in Mexico, you don’t know if you’re getting silver or silver-plated nickel. I know how cheap silver-plate is based on the fact that I helped buy forks for restaurants that are exactly that. And they cost nothing. Now, with a straight face, the shop owner told me that those earrings, which were also unidentical and kinda bent, like someone sat on one briefly but then said “it’s fine” and put it back, the owner got a serious face and said the price was 350 pesos, or $35. I could get these in LA for like $12, probably tops. Maybe $10 for 3. Of course, to tell me the price in dollars, the owner did fancy things on his calculator, even though the exchange rate is pretty much 10:1. He said, “special price for you, $30.” I said “no way, that is too high” and they got insulted and said “WHAT! But it real silver!” I don’t know what’s in the Art of the Deal, but it is very effective to say “I don’t care, that price is too high.” They said “what would you pay, name your price” so I said “$10.” This caused a lot of “NOOO!” and “Don’t be a cheap-o!” and “This real silver!!!” and “if you want nice things you have to spend money!” And the getting over of the manager and a new calculator machine and a lot of sighing. Then they said “okay, $25.” No.
They are not interested in personal space or a quiet way of thinking over a purchase. One guy put a salsa dish in Heather’s hand (who is my friend who is visiting haaay), knocked on it, said “knock on it! You can put salsa in it!” and led her into his kiosk so all of a sudden we lost her. If you enter a shop, you will have a tiny Mexican friend 1 foot or less away from you suggesting things for your home, or tshirt, or for salsa. Also, they will insist these items are very original and take a lot of work, even though you may have seen one before, hundreds of times on beaches and everywhere all over Mexico. They do not mind if you just say “NO,” make no eye contact, or are even ruder and say nothing and pretend they are not there. We are all from the Midwest, usually make eye contact and say “no gracias.” They do not care about this.
Other operative words in a market: “Just for fun!” “Check it out!” “Almost free!”
AND NOW: TAXIS.
When you leave the ship, this is what happens: “TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI TAXI.” “YOU WANNA TAXI” or “WHERE YOU WANT TO GO” or also the time honored joke, “YOU WANNA GO TO MIAMI” which I don’t totally get but is apparently hilarious. Now. To take a tour around the city, you can get with a tour group and do it that way. This will be very Americanized and much more expensive. However, the Americanized portion is that you hear the price beforehand and there is air conditioning, and multiple tour guides who wear matching shirts, and you will wear a sticker indicating you are part of a tour, etc. etc. etc. Then there is the Mexican option. Or you can go freelance and just take a taxi somewhere. In Mexico, the taxi driver also becomes your tour guide. We know this now because 3 of us met a gentleman named Martin. This was after I decided we could tour around Acapulco for $20 round trip. Just a quick tour up to a giant cross and a peace garden with some giant hand sculpture that two people from Philadelphia told me about in a cab. Go up, la la la, come back, la la la. 1 hour. Okay. The first person I asked about this (i.e. “TAXI TAXI TAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!” “sure, I’d like to go to that chapel for $20.” “YOU INSULT ME!”) didn’t work. The second one entered a bargaining war a little bit and walked with us for a while but was gravely insulted by my offer. He said $60 because “3 people! Air conditioning!” The farther you got from the ship, the more loose cannonish the cabbie strata became, like a gobstopper or layers in a septic tank. So we got a $25 deal to go to the chapel, “no problem.” At first we were going to have lunch and go afterwards. Martin informed us that we had to go right away because the chapel closed at 4 p.m. and we could have lunch afterwards in the square. The little part he left out was that the chapel actually opened at 4 p.m. and that this was a fact that he knew. So he took us on a ride and somehow we ended up eating lunch at Senor Frog’s, even though he said “La Vista is better” not like a minute earlier. He also had some brochures in his car for a silver store as well as a restaurant. At Senor Frogs, he clearly got some kind of a kick back, considering he had been there before and hung out with his buddies outside and the prices were American-equivalent. Beer in Mexico is $1, margueritas, $3. In Senor Frog’s, marguerites are $7.
The old adage “they see a cruise ship and triple their prices” is true. This flies in the face of whitie/gringo guilt and a desire to help the local economy sans ending your personal economy. Guilt is an effective marketing tool as evidenced by human history and Martin’s story of his three boys who want to be a doctor, a lawyer and an architect, and yes the universities are free in Mexico, but the good ones are private and that’s where he wants to send them, and p.s. it is hard to be a cabbie, all of which came up right around the time we were going to pay. He recommended a $40/plate restaurant earlier which made all 3 of us go “TOO MUCH!” which should have indicated our budgets. O Martin! He also told us in depth about how corrupt Mexico is and how the Mafia is everywhere and the presidents are always in bed with the Mafia.
When Martin let us out of the cab, he counted the money we gave him in front of the cab ($30, $25 plus a $5 tip) with a little flair and drama. He said “oooooh, I don’t think this is good for me” and then said a good way for us to make it up to him was $10. This is another bargaining technique. Get a person in the door for the price they want, then nickel+dime/tell a dramatic story and use their personalities against them. Also I have no idea if that was fair or not. However, if you become a hard cold bitch and say “no, we’re not doing that and you knew when we got in the cab when that place opens” they will say “okay” and shake your hand and let you go. It would be less of a deal if he didn’t say “oh I take people here every day.” Heather created a very good relationship with him and chatted while I farted around. Heather was obviously, very ready to pay him the extra money, i.e., it was hanging out of her pocket. She was crushed!
Interesting Mexico fact:
All roads lead to Mexico City. So if you want to get to a city in the middle of Mexico from another city in the middle of Mexico, you have to go to Mexico City first. This makes getting around completely insane. It also means that if you have say…a farm that grows drugs and you are in the middle of Mexico, you are pretty much out of the way. Basically, it’s a great place to be in the mafia. Also, cabbies won’t tell on you because you can just kill them or something horrible! This did make us slightly nervous about what happened with Martin vis a vis will he have us hunted down and killed next week.
Random note:
The ship moves a lot so the hangers in your closet knock against the sides. This is what causes us all to randomly answer our door at all hours and to slowly think someone is always messing with you. Heather, too, randomly answered the door.
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